The title for this blog, "I'm No Saint" was inspired by my dear friend @LadyBlackwood. She is a former model and did a shoot with a shirt that had "I'm No Saint" on it. It instantly became my favorite. It became tradition for me to ask about it at St. Patrick's Day since she looked very Irish in the picture.
The words on the shirt stuck with me. I have been fortunate enough to be in the position to help some people. They often said things like your such a Saint you saved my life. But nothing could be further from the truth. I try to be a good person and do the right things, but... well things don't always work that way. I've done plenty I'm no proud of. I just hope when my time comes I end up at the pearly gates and when St. Peter looks at my name, I'm one ahead in the balance of good and bad I've done.
Not sure how to explain this so that everyone will understand it fully. I know a few people like Manda will. I hope you all take something from it.
And after today's events happened I wondered what kind of person I had become....
Missed Opportunity
Down from the warehouses where I work is our main offices. Next to our main offices is the state department. One of their duties is to help people in need of state aid. So it's not uncommon to see down on their luck people standing outside gathering things, loading groceries or countless other things.
Today on my walk down I met a woman standing outside of her car looking distraught. I approached her. Looking at her she was about my height with shorter but not short blond hair. Her clothes looked like she had worn them a few days. Her car was loaded with her stuff and her tiny mini dog. "I'm looking for my divorce papers she said. I'm homeless."
I had been thinking she was loading or unloading something heavy from the trunk and so all I muttered was, "oh." My co-worker was outside and said, "At least you tried." I nodded and reached for my scan card to get in the door. I opened it and paused. I actually stopped for a moment. But then I shrugged and justified that my boss would be mad if I wasn't hurrying to get my work done.
But that was bogus. Yes he would be mad. But what kind of excuse is that? I was at the crossroads where I could have helped someone and made a difference. I'm not saying for sure I could have done anything to help or that she would have allowed me to. But I should have offered her a meal at McDonald's. I could have spared 20 dollars and maybe made sure she had a hotel room for a few nights. I could have made a difference and I didn't. That haunts me. That's not me. I'm the guy who always helps people out. Who is this man I become that I brush by someone in need because they were a stranger and I couldn't be bothered?
I came back out and thought about dropping a 20 in her window, but her dog was in there and people were watching. I didn't want them to think I was robbing this woman of what little she had while she was inside, but again it's all excuses. Who cares she could have used that 20 more than I need it.
Each day I try to be a better person than I was the day before, today I failed. But, at least I lived up to the blog's title. Today I was far from a Saint and I'm ashamed of myself.
Don't you DARE be ashamed of yourself.
ReplyDeleteSure she MIGHT have been looking for her divorce papers - but in the harsh reality of things, there isn't a homeless person in the world. They all have somewhere to go, if they're willing to play by the rules. Family members will always take them in unless they've burned every bridge they have. Even then, there are shelters for everyone, pets or not. Believe me, I've almost ended up in a few myself.
The so called "homeless" in this nation are well cared for. They are given three square meals a day and eat much better than even I do, and I'm far from homeless. They are given room and board - ON YOUR DIME. The taxes that you pay each year are used to manage and keep the shelters running. Food donations are made daily by large corporations, and in a lot of cases, grocery stores themselves.
As the banana's get old waiting to be purchased by you and me, the ones that are so ripe they likely wont last another couple of days on the shelf are shipped to the shelters where they are used that day. Canned food drives keep Chili in the bowls of the 'homeless' people. There are even places out there like Crysalis here in Los Angeles that will provide resume services and suits for those people down on their luck looking to better their lives. I almost had to use them myself.
Knowing this - why are there so many people out there trying to swindle and cheat our hard earned dollars out of our pockets and the mouths of our families and pets? It's because they are not WELCOME in the shelters due to an extensive, expensive drug problem. It's not that the shelters wont take them in - it's that they refuse to come in WITHOUT the substance in their pockets, or they try to sell it to the other people inside who are trying to clean themselves up.
Anyone willing to give it an honest shot and not try to cheat the system are given everything they need to survive, and in most cases, improve their lives. If they don't take that opportunity, that's not YOUR fault. It's their own.
The woman had a meal better than MacDonalds for the evening, and the roof over her head may not have been the most comfortable, but there was a pillow and a bed waiting for her somewhere. Had you dropped that $20 in her car window, it would have been spent on meth or booze, or any myriad of other nasty substances people refuse to give up.
Los Angeles has a high rate of homeless people. I drive past them daily, holding up their "will work for food" signs. Yet, when offered a burrito from Taco Bell or a burger from Jack in the Box, they get angry and scream that they don't want what someone else ordered for them, they want to order their own. No, they don't want to order their own food - they don't even want food. They probably ate two or three meals already. It's not often I see a very skinny 'homeless' person. They're all well fed, if not over fed. Some are down right obese unless they are using Crack. Even then the money wouldn't be spent on food... they would rather starve than give up their crack addiction.
Each year I take anything extra I have and donate to a charity. I have a few that I choose from. When I don't have the money, I donate my time. Crysalis and UNICEF are my two of choice, because of the good works they have done.
However, when the guy on the bike rolls up to me while I'm trying to put gas in my car in order to give me a sob story about being broke and hungry, I roll up my window. Pardon me, but I don't want to hear the line of bullshit.
Don't beat yourself up over this one... trust me, it's honestly better this way.
OMFG I just wrote an entire blog as a comment to YOUR blog. Where was that yesterday when I needed it??
ReplyDeleteWow, how did I miss this? There was an interesting story on Oprah that I was told about. She took a homeless person off the street got him a haircut, some nice clothes to interview in and then set him up with s security job that was nice and cushy.
ReplyDeleteFor about 2-3 months he went to work and Oprah checked in on him once and awhile. But within 6 months he was back on the street. So she had him back on the show. Was he fired? No. Did he quit? Yes. Was it because he didn't like the job? No. It was a prison mentality. The life on the streets was what he knew and had lived with. For him that was home.
Dunno, food for thought I guess.